Everyone has a goal. Some people want to be rich, some want to be happy. More still wish to be rich and happy.Then there are those who want to be thinner, and those who wish to be thicker. Some of us want a fun job, and some just want a job. What separates all of the wishers and thinkers, from the doers and havers? How does one person have something another does not? Well, it all starts with drive… It starts with the drive and the will and the motivation to get out there and push for their goals.
I know, you’re thinking, “I do try hard! I tried hard for so long and nothing happened!”. Well, you got discouraged. Here’s an example (I’ll use an oldie but a goodie): Steve Jobs and Steve Wozniak. These guys started with nothing in their garage. They managed all of the stresses of starting their own business essentially on their own. They put in the time, the effort, and the sheer determination it takes to achieve something great. It was not overnight, nor was it even a matter of a year or two. It took force and will.
When you think of your goal, do you see yourself sitting in a garage late a night, broke as a joke from financing yourself, insisting to your ever-doubtful brain that you will keep pushing no matter what? Do you see yourself going up to strangers and asking them questions to get the information you want? How about dedicating a good percentage of your valuable moments to reaching that goal? Can you see yourself doing any of those things for what you want?
If the answer is no, I can already tell you why you’re sitting there, indignant, wondering why you haven’t been given anything you want. You have to WORK for it! You have to live it, breathe it, sweat it. Your wishes and dreams cannot be given to you.
Maybe you lack motivation, perhaps you think there isn’t anything riding on what you’re striving for. Here, I’ll give you another answer: You are your motivation. Why is it that we, as humans, never think we’re good enough? We always think we need to prove it to so-and-so, to get ripped to impress an ex, get smart to impress a boss, sexy to impress a spouse. Why can’t you be enough for yourself?
I’m dedicating the rest of this post to helping you realize why you need to throw out any reason you have for your goals, and accept little-ole’ you as the new reason.
Why you need to rely on yourself as motivation:
The people we associate aren’t always going to be there. And I don’t mean physically there, though sometimes that’s true. Sometimes your people aren’t going to be up to motivating you. I’m not saying they don’t want to be there, but they have their own things to deal with. Maybe that day your husband/wife came in the door and didn’t rejoice over the inch that you lost from your waist, they got chewed out by their boss. Perhaps, they were relying on you to be his cheerleader. That day your son or daughter told you “Mom/Dad, I don’t care!”, maybe someone wrote a nasty note to them. Point being, there are about a bajillion things going on in the world at any given moment, and occasionally your goal won’t be important to anyone but you.
But its still important!!
It is important to you, and that needs to be all that matters. So many of us place value on emotions, actions, etc. based on what everyone else thinks of them. It’s imperative that that changes, for your sake as well as humanity’s. Why do I go so far as to say its for the sake of humanity? Well, you take a thousand people think that way, and it turns into thousands more, millions more, billions more… We need to teach everyone around us to value their own opinions.
Now, after all of this talk about valuing your own opinions, I need to make a disclaimer. It’s still good to acknowledge other opinions. Being ignorant and proclaiming that you don’t care isn’t the way to go about things. You don’t need to follow their opinions, but giving someone important to you the time of day is a common courtesy.
Here are my top 5 ways to gaining more self-confidence, self-love, and achieving your goals!
1. Listen to yourself. In order to be self-confident, you need to know how to value yourself. What are your goals? Whats your end-game? Why is this important to you? I suggest writing down your goals, along with all the reasons why, and come back to them when you’re feeling iffy about your decisions.
2. Be your own motivator. Sure, being motivated for your spouse, kids, etc. is a great thing! You want to be better for the people you love, so you process your goals and tell yourself that you’re going to do it for them. Don’t. Include them, but don’t make them your only reason. You need to be your reason. Striving to feel better for yourself and truly meaning it is the best motivator out there. Here’s to fighting for your health, your self-confidence, the way you feel about your job, your house, your life. Your goals.
3. Keep yourself accountable. This connects to number 1, and its an important step towards achieving your goals. If you’re going to be your own motivation, you also need to be the person that holds you accountable for your goals. Take a journal, and write every step of your journey inside. Write down important points, strong feelings, ideas, drawbacks, ways to avoid those drawbacks, etc. If your goals are something like weight loss, track your meals, your workouts, your cravings…. Be your own coach.
4. Be specific. Its easy to stray from something if your goal is too broad. First, you can’t tell how close you’re getting to success if you have so many things wrapped up into one end-game. Second, its hard to adhere to 10 goals at the same time. Set one goal at a time, and set up a time line for that goal. You can make successive plans after your achievement, but leave that until you’ve felt the feeling of success with your first goal. Meeting that mark is the best motivation for the next, and the next. In short, don’t make it too hard. Easy does it.
5. Share your progress! Don’t be afraid to scream it from the rooftops! Share it with family, with friends, co-workers, everyone. You worked hard, you deserve to brag. Who knows, you might be someone else’s inspiration to take their goals to heart. If no one you know wants to listen, post it online! There are some awesome groups for both men and women on site’s like Facebook and Instagram. There are so many caring people out there, you have only to find them. And hell, you can always shoot me a comment and I’d be more than happy to congratulate you on being a bad-ass!
So go, get out there, put your nose to the grind, and get what you want.
To your happiness!